One Way Street
by Bil
Summary: Sometimes things are so badly broken you just can't fix them. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: Characters all belong to Paramount. No money has been received for this,  
a work of fiction. The song, however, is used with permission.

Author's Notes: Sadfic and really really odd. {shrug} Oh well, just read it and see  
what you think. It's not really *intended* to be J/C, but you're quite welcome  
to read it as such if you wish.

* * *

**"One Way Street"**  
by Bil!

He was in his office when he saw her walking by. She glanced through the  
window, saw him, faltered, then came in. Chakotay knew he was staring, but he  
couldn't help it. Ten years. Ten long, long years since he had last seen her. Ten years  
since she had left. Abandoned them. Abandoned *him*.

She still looked the same, a little thinner, a little greyer. But her eyes were the  
same.

She smiled, and that was the same too, still full of life and hope and dreams. "I  
was hoping for at least a 'Hello, how are you'," she said.

"Hello, how are you?" he asked obediantly.

Her smile widened. "I'm fine, thank you. How are *you* doing, Chakotay?"

He wanted to lose himself in her smile, but that wouldn't be right. Not fair to  
B'Elanna and Harry and the others, and not fair to him. "Where have you been,  
Kathryn?"

The smile faded. "What?"

"A simple question, I would have thought. Where have you been for the past ten  
years?"

"Here and there," she said off-handedly. "Starfleet business."

"Business which took up so much of your time that you didn't have the chance to  
call." The sarcasm was evident in his voice.

The smile was gone, replaced by a slight frown. "Why are you so upset?"

He pushed himself up from his desk. "For God's sake, Kathryn, it's been ten years!  
You just disappeared, without telling us anything. Without telling *me*  
anything. I tried to find you, Kathryn. It was like trying to find a needle in a universe.  
You can't just waltz in here like nothing happened, like the past ten years never  
happened."

"I couldn't tell you."

"Couldn't? Or wouldn't?" She didn't say anything, and that was answer enough.  
"Why did you come in here, Kathryn?"

"I thought we could talk."

She wanted to *talk*? Why? So they could pick up the threads of their lives  
that she had dropped ten years ago when they reached home? To continue as though  
she hadn't just left them behind?

He said as much, angry and hurt. Ten years of hurt, ten years of anger. She stared  
at him. "Don't look at me like that, Kathryn. You can't expect everything to be the  
same after all this time."

She was shocked, hurt. "You're not the Chakotay I knew," she accused.

He sighed, not taking the bait, sinking back into his chair. "Sometimes," he said  
tiredly, "I wonder if I was ever the Chakotay you knew."

Her shoulders sagged and she moved to the door. It was one of the hardest things  
he had ever done to just let her walk back out of his life, but he did it. "I'm sorry,  
Chakotay," she whispered. "I never should have come back."

And she was gone.

"No," he whispered to the empty room. "You should never have left."

**_Fin_**

Copyright 2001

* * *

"One Way Street"  
lyrics by Rosemary van Essen

Can't you see I'm walking down a one way street  
And the past and the future are never gonna meet  
The past is past, it'll never come again  
And all the future I can see is going to be pain

I had my day of happiness, the joy has faded fast  
Should'a known for one like me the good things never last  
We said the things we shouldn't have, spoke the silent words  
And now we've crawled to separate dens, to nurse unhealing hurts

I want to say I'm sorry, take all the anger back  
But I cower here in silence and cry as I watch you pack  
'Coz the past we had is gone, it is no more  
And the future's never gonna be, what it was before

The dream is gone, the hope forever dead  
And I'm sorry oh so sorry for all the things we said  
But that was in the past now, when happiness was real  
Now I harden my heart, and try hard not to feel

Oh, can't you see I'm walking down a one way street  
And the past and the future are never gonna meet  
The past is past, it'll never come again  
And all the future I can see is going to be pain

The past is past, it'll never come again  
And all the future I can see is going to be pain...


End file.
